What life means to a .....
What A 24yr. Old Learned About Life From Burying A Friend Too Young To Die
Introduction.
It's Monday September 22, 7:54PM 1997.
My life long friend Richard Ian Forman was buried today. He was just 25 years old. Richard Forman died of Hodgkin's disease, a form of cancer. He passionately battled the disease for over 2+ years.
Stricken by the disease soon after graduating college, Richard fought and fought and fought to beat this disease.
His fight for his life tragically ended this Saturday afternoon. Richard leaves behind his parents, Lenny and Janet, younger brother Keith and older sister Lisa.
Richard was a fighter. A true warrior.
Just a few months ago, everybody was elevated that the disease went into remission. Only soon after, it started coming back.
And even as it came back Richard never stopped fighting for his life. He never stopped.
I grew up with Richard.
We were next door neighbors, for over 18 long years. We were normal kids growing up in the suburbs of New York.
We played sports together, all the time. We had our battles. Our fights. Normal things that kids do.
We were friends, good friends. Richard and his brother Keith, and my brother Brian and myself were inseparable up to our mid teen years. Basketball on the court in their driveway, hockey in the street, baseball catches on the lawn, and video games in our homes.
That was our life. Sports, sports, and more sports.
It was a lot of fun. And Richard and his brother were great friends of my brother and myself.
Richard went off to the University of Rhode Island in 1990.
I followed in 1991.
He was always there for me. Showed me around. Introduced me to all his friends and made me feel at home being only a freshman.
I'll always appreciate that.
Today, on September 22, 1997 I buried my life long friend Richard Ian Forman. At the age of just 25. Too young to die.
Much too young to die.
I have put together this passage because of lessons I've learned throughout Richards fight for his life and the events since his death on Saturday 20, 1997. After tragedies like this, many of us are dealt a severe case of reality in our own lives. We begin to realize the important things in life and say were going to make many changes in our life.
Then a month later, we go back to our old patterns of living. Forgetting what's really important.
I want Richards's death at the young age of 25 to leave a lasting impact on your life. I want his courage and his determined fight and struggle for his life to have an impact on not just those he touched around him, but you as well.
The lessons and thoughts in this passage should be incorporated into your daily life. There are to many lessons for that to be done in a day, a month and maybe even years.
And I understand that.
What can be done though is you take a thing, just one thing, from this passage and begin to incorporate it in your life right now, starting today.
That is the goal of this passage.
So when you look at yourself in the mirror later, you'll have taken something from Richards life and brought it into yours. And you will be a better person for it. You will always then remember Richard Ian Forman.
Richards's tragic death at the age of 25 will then have meaning. His life's work and his fight for his life will then last forever. You will then feel his strength and courage in your own life. Richards's short life then will seem like an eternity and he will live forever.
He will live forever in your heart.
Forever, he will live.
I love you, my friend. Forever.
Mike
Lessons On Life That I Learned.
Death should be grieved and then that life celebrated. Be grateful for the years that you were able to spend with loved ones that past away. It could have been longer, Yes. It could have been shorter also. Be thankful for the lives you shared.
Life will take you on a roller coaster. Be strong. Have courage. In the worst times of Richards's disease, he always told me he was fighting it. Staying positive. Believing in himself. And he did. Be like Richard. Be strong. Show courage. You can do it.
Love. Is there anything else that matters?
In life what you give away, you get to keep. During Richards's funeral we remembered what he gave to us. His love. Devotion. Friendship. Integrity. His big nice smile. What you give away to others, you are remembered for.
Be charitable. Help others. Let your actions show that you lived this way. Richard was always there for his family and friends.
Have at least 2-3 close knit friends. Ones you can really count on. Richard had many friends. Though 2 really special friends were always by his side. Todd and Adam, they were also a big help to his family. It's great to have a lot of friends, although 2-3 GREAT ones are what you really need. Richard had them. And he'll always be grateful for that.
Your family is the most important thing in your life. Richards's family was there for him. They cried and are still crying and they had a great son. Always remember that.
I've heard this before and I believe it should be said again. When you're on your deathbed you don't say to yourself. "I wish I worked more." Spend more time with those that are important to you. Those you love.
It's ok to cry. At the funeral everybody cried and cried. We will always love you Richard.
In life you have tears of joy and tears of pain. Make sure you let it out and cry when your happy because your going to definitely cry when your sad. Today we were all very sad. It was very sad.
Don't hold grudges, It's worthless. Waste of energy and time. You realize that at funerals. I learned that today.
The tears and pain of a parent losing a child is the worst thing in the world. I saw it and I know it's true.
Be a fighter in Life's game. Richard was a fighter. And he fought to the end.
Don't be afraid to say, "I Love You" There's a day when you wish you could say it but then the person can't hear it. When you're burying a loved one, they can't hear you.
If you want to live forever, impact others with love and good deeds and they will never forget you. Richard showed me what courage and strength was about. I will always remember that and take it with me.
I heard this quote before "When you say Life's not fair, I say compared to what."
Pain is part of life. I felt it today and so did everybody else. Enjoy life to its fullest because there will be moments of pain.
Be there when others are in pain. You'll feel good about yourself and the "other" will really appreciate it. Being there for a friend in need is one of the greatest things you could ever do in life.
When somebody dies and you have to tell others about it, say something that can benefit the person you're speaking to. Ex, When Richard died, in my conversations with others I talked about how strong he was in fighting the disease and his courage. Say something like "If we can take just a small piece of that courage he showed and put it in our life, we'd be better people and happier people.
Be grateful for your life right now. For your health, loved ones around you and that you're alive. I looked at my parents and brother today and was grateful for their love.
You're important to others when you help others feel important and feel good. Talking to Richard and helping him stay positive and determined made me feel good.
Have a passion in life. Something you love to do.
Have a purpose in life. Why am I here? And after myself, whom can I help?
Helen Keller said "To risk nothing is to have nothing."
What you give away comes back to you. Give love. Get love. Give friendship. Receive friendship. I gave my love and support to Richard and he showed me what it meant to fight and live life like a winner.
Your inner world reflects your outer world. How you feel about yourself reflects your feelings about others.
Death brings people closer. Richards's death brought many closer. I hope it stays that way.
Hug people in time of need and be grateful to be hugged when you're in need. Everybody hugged everybody today. It was one big family.
Burying a friend is a tragedy. I experienced the true meaning of the word today. For the first time.
Your family always loves you. Remember that. I saw that today.
Memories are what life is about. Create great ones. Create ones of joy fun, and love. You're remembered mainly for the memories you gave others. I'll always remember Richard and our times together.
The small things in life are small. Step on them.
Don't say why? Because no one knows. Say thank you for giving me the love and life of that person.
Many others have died before you and many others will die after you. Make your life a masterpiece that the world can see and learn from.
Life is to be lived and celebrated. Celebrate yourself and others.
Use your material gains to help others. You'll receive it back ten fold.
Seeing somebody that you cared for die really shakes you up. Take one thing you learned from the tragedy and incorporate it in your life. Then that person will live forever.
We're all gonna one day die. Do what you've always wanted to do. And do it now!
Be nice to yourself.
Fear is an illusion. Stomp on it.
Make peace with bad developments from your younger years. If not, it will always stop you and haunt you.
Richard liked being called Rich. It started when he went to college.
Rich was always helpful.
Rich always had a big smile on his beautiful face.
Rich was grateful for his friends and was himself a great friend to others. He loved hanging out with his friends.
Rich was a fierce competitor.
Rich loved sports.
Rich taught me what strength and courage really meant.
Rich fought hard.
Rich never gave up.
Rich just ran out of time.
Rich was a true gentleman.
Rich loved to be dressed well and enjoyed fine wine.
Rich loved his family.
Rich was too young to die.
Rich will be loved by many.
Rich will always be loved by his family.
Rich will always be remembered by me and I will always love him, miss him, and treasure what he taught me.
Good bye my friend.
Good bye.
Richard
